Letter of instruction for family is one of the most practical documents you can create as part of your estate plan. It is not a legal document like a will or trust. Instead, it is a plain-language letter that tells your loved ones exactly where to find important information after you pass away. It covers the everyday details a will does not — passwords, funeral wishes, account numbers, pet care, and more.
However, because it is not legally binding, it works alongside your will, not in place of it. Many families find that a letter of instruction for family is the single most helpful thing left behind, because it answers the urgent questions that come up in the first 48 hours after a death.
When and Why You Need a Letter of Instruction for Family
A will tells a court how to divide your property. A letter of instruction for family tells your people how to get through the first days and weeks. For example, your executor may need to pay bills immediately, notify your employer, or arrange a funeral. A will typically does not cover any of those tasks. That gap is exactly what this letter fills.
You do not need a lawyer to create one. You do not need a notary. You can write it by hand, type it, or fill in a template. As a result, it is one of the easiest estate-planning steps you can take. In most cases, families who have this letter report far less confusion and stress during an already difficult time.
Typically, you should create your letter of instruction for family at the same time you write or update your will. You should also update it after any major life event — a move, a marriage, a divorce, a new bank account, or the birth of a child. Because it is informal, updating takes minutes, not a trip to an attorney’s office.
What to Include (and What to Get Right)
A thorough letter of instruction for family covers several categories. Start with the basics: your full legal name, date of birth, Social Security number, and the location of your original will. Then add the practical details your family will need immediately.
Include funeral and burial wishes, the names and contact information for your attorney, financial advisor, insurance agent, and accountant. List every bank account, retirement account, brokerage account, and life insurance policy with account numbers and institution names. Add your digital assets — email accounts, social media profiles, online storage, and cryptocurrency wallets. Cover debts and liabilities, including mortgage, car loan, and credit card details. Finally, include pet care instructions and the distribution of sentimental items that may not be covered in your will.
One important warning: because wills become public record once filed in probate court, do not put your password list inside your will. Your letter of instruction for family stays private, making it the safer place for sensitive login credentials. The table below shows how certain estate-document requirements vary by state — your letter of instruction itself has no state-specific rules, but the documents it references do.
| State | Probate Filing Fee | Will Must Be Notarized? | Digital Assets Law (RUFADAA) Adopted? | Safe Deposit Box Access Without Court Order? |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| California | $435 | No (2 witnesses required) | Yes (2016) | No — court order typically required |
| Florida | $401 | No (preferred, not required) | Yes (2016) | Yes — with death certificate |
| New York | $1,250 (estates over $500,000) | No (2 witnesses required) | Yes (2016) | No — court order required |
| Texas | $320 | No (self-proving affidavit optional) | Yes (2017) | Yes — with death certificate |
| Pennsylvania | $250 | No (2 witnesses required) | Yes (2020) | No — court order typically required |
Sample Template You Can Adapt
Below is a sample letter of instruction for family that you can adapt to your own situation. Fill in the bracketed sections with your specific information.
Sample template — adapt to your state and your situation. This is an informational sample, not legal advice.
LETTER OF INSTRUCTION
Prepared by: [Your Full Legal Name]
Date: [Date Written]
Address: [Your Full Address, City, State, ZIP]
To my family and executor: This letter is meant to help you handle practical matters after my passing. It is not a legal document and does not replace my will. My original will is located at [location of original will — e.g., home safe, attorney’s office, safe deposit box at [Bank Name], Box #[Number]].
1. Immediate Contacts
Attorney: [Name, Firm, Phone, Email]
Financial Advisor: [Name, Firm, Phone, Email]
Insurance Agent: [Name, Company, Phone, Email]
Accountant/CPA: [Name, Firm, Phone, Email]
Employer: [Company Name, HR Contact, Phone]
2. Funeral and Burial Wishes
I prefer: [burial / cremation / donation to science]
Funeral home: [Name, if pre-arranged, or “no preference”]
Memorial service: [yes / no — any specific wishes for music, readings, location]
Burial location: [cemetery name / scatter ashes at [location] / other]
Pre-paid arrangements: [yes — contract number [Number] / no]
3. Financial Accounts
Checking: [Bank Name, Account #, approximate balance]
Savings: [Bank Name, Account #, approximate balance]
Retirement (401k/IRA): [Institution, Account #]
Brokerage: [Institution, Account #]
Life Insurance: [Company, Policy #, death benefit amount, beneficiary]
Other Insurance: [homeowners, auto, umbrella — Company, Policy #]
4. Debts and Liabilities
Mortgage: [Lender, Account #, approximate balance]
Auto Loan: [Lender, Account #, approximate balance]
Credit Cards: [Issuer, last 4 digits, approximate balance]
Student Loans: [Servicer, Account #, approximate balance]
Other: [describe]
5. Digital Accounts and Passwords
Email: [provider, username]
Password manager: [app name, master password location — e.g., “written in sealed envelope in home safe”]
Social media accounts: [list — and note whether to memorialize or delete each]
Online storage: [Google Drive, Dropbox, iCloud — note important files]
Cryptocurrency: [exchange or wallet, seed phrase location]
6. Important Documents — Locations
Will: [location]
Trust documents: [location, if applicable]
Power of attorney: [location]
Health care directive: [location]
Birth certificate: [location]
Marriage/divorce papers: [location]
Military discharge (DD-214): [location, if applicable]
Tax returns (last 3 years): [location]
Property deeds: [location]
Vehicle titles: [location]
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7. Pet Care
Pet(s): [name, type, age]
Preferred caretaker: [name, phone]
Veterinarian: [name, clinic, phone]
Special care notes: [medications, diet, habits]
8. Personal Items and Sentimental Wishes
[Item — e.g., “Grandmother’s ring”] → [intended recipient]
[Item] → [intended recipient]
[Item] → [intended recipient]
9. Anything Else My Family Should Know
[Use this section for anything not covered above — e.g., ongoing subscriptions to cancel, storage units, business partnerships, or personal messages.]
Signed: ___________________________
Printed Name: [Your Full Legal Name]
Date: [Date]
How to Store It and Keep It Current
Because a letter of instruction for family is not filed with any court, you choose where to keep it. The best practice is to store it with your original will — typically in a fireproof home safe or with your attorney. Do not keep it only in a bank safe deposit box. In states like California and New York, your family may need a court order to open that box, which defeats the purpose of having quick-access information.
Give copies to at least two trusted people — your executor and one backup person. Let them know where the original is stored. If you include passwords, consider keeping those on a separate sheet inside a sealed envelope, stored in the same safe.
Review your letter of instruction for family at least once a year. Update it after any major change — a new account, a move, a marriage, a divorce, or the death of someone named in it. Because no legal formalities are required, you can simply print a new version, date it, and replace the old one. Shred the outdated copy to protect sensitive information.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is a letter of instruction for family legally binding?
No. A letter of instruction for family is not enforceable in court. It is an informal guide for your executor and loved ones. If your letter conflicts with your will, the will controls. However, courts and family members typically try to honor reasonable wishes expressed in the letter, especially for funeral preferences and personal items.
Can a letter of instruction for family replace a will?
No. You still need a valid will (or trust) to legally distribute your assets. Without one, your state’s intestacy laws decide who inherits your property — regardless of what your letter says. In most cases, the letter and the will work together. The will handles legal distribution. The letter handles everything else.
Should I have a lawyer write my letter of instruction for family?
You do not need a lawyer for this document. It is informal by design. However, if you have a complex estate — a business, property in multiple states, or significant digital assets — you may want to review the letter with your estate-planning attorney. They can make sure it aligns with your will and does not create confusion. For most families, a simple template like the one above is enough to get started.
Planning ahead? Check your life insurance too
A will decides who gets what — life insurance decides how your family pays the bills while the estate settles. It is worth checking that your coverage and beneficiaries are up to date.
Find Your State’s Exact Rules
Probate cost, small-estate limits, intestate shares, and estate-tax rules all change from state to state. Pick your state to see the exact figures that apply where you live.
See Wills & Probate Rules for Every State →
Sources & How to Verify
The information on this page is drawn from official government and court sources. Estate, probate, and tax rules change, so always confirm the exact figure with your state’s court, statute, or a licensed attorney.
- IRS — Estate Tax: irs.gov — federal estate-tax rules and exemption
- Find free legal help: lawhelp.org — free and low-cost legal aid in your state
- Cornell Legal Information Institute: law.cornell.edu/wex — plain-English legal definitions
- Your state probate code & court self-help portal: search “[your state] probate code” and “[your state] probate court self-help” for the exact law and forms
Content last reviewed June 2026. If you notice outdated information, please contact us.
Related Guides
- Wills & Probate by State (All 51 Jurisdictions)
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- Estate Planning Scenarios — What to Do When…
- Documents, Forms & Letters
- Comparison Guides
- Estate Planning Glossary
Informational only — not legal or tax advice. Wills Probate Guide is an independent educational resource, not a law firm, tax advisor, or financial planner, and this page does not provide legal or tax advice. Estate, probate, and tax rules vary by state and change over time, so always verify the exact rule with your state’s probate code, your local probate court’s self-help portal, or a licensed attorney. For urgent matters like an active probate or a tax deadline, contact a licensed attorney in your state right away.